We Are Off To The Hamptons!

First, I want you to notice what time it is, then I will tell you the limo will be at my house at 5:15 a.m.! Yes, I know, I am crazy but I just had to leave you with an update of the past few days! Katherine and Katy are running around quietly upstairs packing, laughing and getting their showers so they can sleep until 4:30 a.m. I am sure the limo driver will be thrilled with three women who have only had about three hours of sleep perfectly pressed clothes and lots of coffee. David was the smart one and went to bed by 10 p.m. Oh well, we can sleep on the plan right?

The past week has been a whirlwind. Katherine continued to recover from Big Stuf and slept lots. Each day I would receive updates from the Make A Wish Foundation regarding our trip and would get more excited everyday. Tracy Bossman, our Make A Wish Rep called to inform me we would be having Katherine’s Announcing Party at The Viking School in Franklin. When she went in and told them Katherine’s story including what she wanted to do for her wish, they wanted to host a very special lunch for our family that would included an amazing menu and Katherine would be able to prepare this beautiful meal right along side two awesome chiefs.

So the next week David and I worked on several lies, yes, I said lies, we wanted to surprise Katherine but also had to get Kaitlin Smith up to be involved in the luncheon. We worked with Brenda to get Kaitlin up Monday morning thinking she was surprising Katherine. Then I had to trick Katherine into getting her dressed up and over to the Factory where we would just “drop in” to the Viking Store and then walk into their demonstration kitchen. It all came together and the event was unbelievable. Katherine enjoyed herself so much and might I say she, Jamie and Mike put together a beautiful meal that included:

Mixed Greens with Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing (made from scratch)
Bobby Flay’s Grilled Asparagus
Melt In Your Mouth Potato Gratin
Blue Cheese Stuffed Filet Mignon
Morton’s of Chicago Godiva Hot Chocolate Cake

Katherine loved preparing each course and then even got Kaitlin up to help with the Godiva Hot Chocolate Cake. The girls had the two chiefs in stitches most of the time. After everything was done, we sat down to eat and enjoy the fruit of their labor. Trace then told Katherine all about her wish that had been granted. She began by talking about her journey over the past three years and Jamie and Mike were touched. She gave her a huge Make A Wish bag filled with lots of goodies for the trip and then explained how her wish will unfold.

We will be picked up by limo in the morning and then fly to the Hamptons on Long Island New York. We will stay in the beautiful historic South Hampton Inn. One Friday, Katherine will met and cook with Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa, yes that was Katherine’s wish. On Saturday she will enjoy some time at the local spa and then she will have the opportunity to have some sailing lessons. The rest of the weekend, we will enjoy touring the Hamptons and relaxing. David and I have known about all the wonderful events they had planned for Kaye but then it was Katherine’s turn to thank Katy for being such a wonderful friend and informing her that part of her wish from the start was that she could take her best friend with her. Because Will and Stephen are over 18, they could not go with us, so they granted this part of her wish as well. Kaitlin will experience the Hamptons with Katherine and make memories that will last a lifetime.

Katy was floored and of course there were lots of tears. I was just happy I did not have to lie any more! So the last few days have been getting ready to enjoy this awesome adventure. The house is quiet and of course I am the last to finish and get in the bed. I have put together a scrap book to give to Ina Garten telling Katherine’s story. I wanted her to see and understand the past three years and how she has helped to make a difference in Katherine’s life without even meeting her. You know me, it could not be some simple thing but it did make me organize more than three years of pictures of Kaye’s journey and I have finished.

I just could not leave without giving each of you the scoop and asking for special prayers of protection while we travel. Lucy and Cole will be taking care of by one of our favorite little boys, Cam. Well, everything is done, and now I must close my eyes for just a few hours. I will update once we are home but I wanted to go ahead and wish two people a very special Happy Birthday. They will celebrate while we are gone and I wanted to give them an early “Happy Birthday” wish. July 18th will be my Aunt Ruth Ann’s birthday and July 20th is Nani-Grace’s birthday. We love you both. Thank you for celebrating with us. We appreciate all your love and words of encouragement. Good night!

Never Quit!

Sharliss, David, KJ & Katy Bug…..off to the Hamptons!

Here are some pictures of the Make A Wish Luncheon hosted by the Viking School.

Empty

I sit in front of this big ole screen feeling empty, thankful for where I am, warm, safe, thrilled my girl is at school. This week has been better for my sweet girl who has walked a journey of pain and struggle. As I pray for her today I am also getting ready to travel home to attend a memorial service for a friend who took his own life this weekend. I will stand by his wife whom I love and try and give some sort of encouragement and with his his two beautiful daughters who have questions with no answers. I feel empty....I have also prayed for another family whom I have never met. The Lamberth family. Mark was involved in an accident and had head trauma that has put him at death's door. They have been told there is no hope, now they wait again no answers...I feel empty. Oh how I wish I could draw all these people close and fix this awful mess, keep them from the pain and struggle, but I cannot. I can only pray, hold their hands and remind them that there is Hope. Hope in the cross, hope in knowing that Jesus is there and has never and will never leave. One man, successful, engaged in his daughters lives, encourager and the other just beginning life with his new little boy Noah and a beautiful wife. Oh how fragile life is, I will continue to walk in grace today knowing that we will have Hope for tomorrow if only one day at a time.

To Go or Not To Go

The past few years we have had to ask ourselves this question so many times. With Kaye and "being" around people, we have had to truly think about every step we make. Even around family and our dearest friends, we have had to say "no". This week Kaye asked herself this question, not because of her body but because of her heart. You see, Monday was Matthew's service, a time to say goodbye, a time to close the chapter for this sweet young man. Kaye truly had a hard time because she was so torn about going. She had prayed so hard for God to bring Matthew through, to allow him to "make it" andthen be able to have a reason for a grand testimony. We did not go to the service. She was filled with wonder of what people thought. "Why did Matthew die and not others?" "Why was he so sick and his body could not handle it and mine did?" Kaye has asked herself that many times and I just cannot answer that question for her. She wants to see Tricia and Jeff, hug them and be able to minister to them but wanted to wait and do it in the way and time God would have us to. She amazes me. I know her heart continues to hurt but she is so much wiser with her emotions than others. So, we will wait for a few weeks, then travel up to see them and I pray she will be able to bring a smile to their face and then she will embrace them and they will feel the love and honest joy of this sweet young girl having the opportunity to meet their family and having the chance to get to know Matthew. Our time here is like a breath and I want to make every breath count. I see her walking in those shoes and that makes me more proud than I could ever say. I pray my children will dream big but will keep their focus small and true. We can all do so much, running around like chickens with our heads cut off, doing, doing, doing.....but I want to do it well, I want to matter. Matthew was only here for 15 years and I will say, he did it well and truly what he did mattered.

I Am Still Alive! - Just When Is It A Good Time?

Yep, I did it again! It has been a long while since you have heard from this old girl but life is just passing right by. I must admit, I think almost everyday about things I could go on an on about right here in this little space, but the day and night get away from me and then its over, the day and my desire to write words that would be an encouragement, bring laughter or perhaps tears.

Just to set the mood, I am in our office with Lucy in my lap, Katherine is sleeping on the couch because a day at clinic and school have slap worn her out and my honey is out of town which means Kaye and I will have Chinese food for dinner! Today was hard, my thoughts were not about me in anyway, well ok, I have gained eight extra pounds and I hate how my jeans feel and I did think about that.

We are on our knees these days lifting another sweet young man up because he is just not doing well. We met Matthew Litchfield just 2 weeks after Katherine was first admitted to Vandy back in September, 2006. He was a quiet, blond tall young man. We watched him go through chemo treatments like Kaye, same side effects but he also had to go through a bone marrow transplant. The year was so hard on his body but he did everything that was required and I enjoyed seeing him in clinic and sometimes Kaye and Matthew were in the hospital at the same time so Tricia, his mom and I would "hang out" on the floor. Tricia always love talking to Kaye and I remembered one time during her last hospital stay this summer Matthew was in the hospital. On our nightly laps we would stop in and see the two of them. We would smile and say HI to Matthew and then Kaye would say Hi, Tricia would always say, "She is a pretty girl, say Hi!". Tricia always made me laugh and she sure is a great momma. Matthew was able to go on his Make A Wish Trip to Hawaii, he loved it, but right before he left they were told "his numbers" did not look right. Once back the nightmare began again, Matthew had indeed relapsed and that meant another transplant and huge volumes of chemo to get him "clean" again before he could even be ready for another transplant. He is currently on 6A at Vandy fighting for every breath and there are hundreds of people praying and begging God for this sweet young man and his family.

While Kaye was at clinic I went over to try and see Tricia but the nurses informed me "It's Not A Good Time". I felt helpless and wanted so badly to run down that hall and just take it all away, but I could not. The entire way to Vandy that morning was full of consent prayers for Matthew. Even when Harold, our wonderful welcome guy at the front door loved on Kaye I almost felt empty. All I could think about was Matthew. The hospital was all the same, nothing had changed except our sweet friend was hanging on and there was nothing I could do and that broke my heart.

Just when is it "A Good Time"? We just move in our life from one day to the next, one event, one struggle. I can tell you that it is never a good time to have the Beast....Cancer enter you life. It truly knocks the wind out of your lungs and knocks your feet out from under you. You have to learn to lean on something much stronger, something that encourages you to have hope, hope in the day or even just the moment. My insides ache right about now and I know I will have to feel this pain. I keep checking my email to see if Tricia has either posted there or on Caringbridge. I pray for good news....I need good news, I just pray.

Happy Birthday Day Mama!

Today my mom would have been 66 years old. She went to heaven when I was 9 years old and yes I miss her so. Many have said there are times or seasons you miss them more but I always correct them and say, "I miss my mom and dad almost daily, weekly, monthly. I have been blessed to have the most awesome "mother-in-love" but I still have a special place in my heart for my mom. Only my family knew her. Not one of my friends or my bestest friend, David, knew her. They only know about this beautiful women through me. She was tall, blond, green eyed and could teach you how to dance, sew, smile and make a memory and how to make the best pan of corn bread you would put in your mouth. Many have said, "I never met her in person but I have known her through you. I love love love to dance, sewing is well something that is just apart of me, I love to make people smile, ok, I am not tall, just normal but I can make an iron pan of corn bread that will make your mouth water.

The past few years have been hard for me and I can almost feel her arms around me when I need her. I pray I have made her proud. I love her so and am proud to be the only daughter of Betty Jane Mincey Westbrooks. House work was not something she loved to do so I have memories of playing outside with her until late in the day, laying by our small pool in the sun or playing softball with all the kids in our Atlanta neighborhood and then when it was 4:30 p.m. we would run to the house like crazy and get it looking grand before dad came home. Dinner was always great, she was a wonderful cook. If daddy only knew what we really did all day.

She could make anything, and I mean anything. All the curtains, even recovered chairs. Not to mention making all our clothes. The yard always look grand, she loved making everything just right but in turn spent lots of time with my brothers and I. If I close my eyes I can see her dancing in the kitchen, I can even smell her perfume. And of course that smile, and that long beautiful body. I am blessed and I pray I will continue to strive to be the mom that she helped me to be.

Smiles and Tears At The Publix Store!

It has been almost two months since I sat down to write, sorry for that. I wish I had a good reason, but to be honest, once I check on all my "kids" via email, caringbridge, etc. I feel a little guilty to spend additional time sitting in front of the computer. I am a person who must do do do. Many of my sweet friends and family tell me this is a season for me to "just be" and I have had to really relax and take one day at a time. Anyway, enough reasons, I have so much to blog about, I even started writing titles on small pieces of paper and putting them into a wine glass that sits on my hutch. I will start with this one because it is most recent and something that truly touched me.

Many of you know that Publix has become the place to go! While Kaye was so sick and weak, Publix was the only place we would venture out and of course who could forget all the stories about the electric cart with the big basket on it. We now have many people who know us by name and smile and speak every day. Yes, I guess out of 7 days I am at Publix 5 of them. I have even gone Green and have those cute green Publix bags. Anyway, I was there to pick up just a few items and heard loud voices from the cereal row. I looked down and there were three kids, one of those car carts and a dad who was giving them direction in picking out cereal. Most of us have been there at on time or another. The kids ranged from the ages of 4-10 so there was no way they would pick the same cereal or even two of the same. I stood for a long time watching this "event" unfold and smiled. The dad was trying so very hard to be patient. I wanted to help and I thought about telling him how David's mom would allow the Arnold boys to pick cereal. They could have anything they wanted as long as when they turned the box to the side and read the ingredients, the first ingredient could not be sugar! Perfect! That keep the Arnold boys eating good cereal until Connie came along and of course being the baby, he always wanted the chocolate cereal.

I did not talk with the little family but by the time the cereals were in the cart and after lots of "talk", they had 4 different flavors and I could tell they were with their dad every other weekend. My light heart sunk and I began Asking God to give them a sweet weekend with their daddy.

Later that night I was in the car and heard a new song by Reba and Kenny named Every Other Weekend. Yep, you guessed it, I cried through the entire song. My thoughts went back to this sweet family who sure loved their daddy. I also thought about my family and how I do understand how hard this life is for everyone involved. We just go about out daily business understanding divorce but do we truly Understand Divorce. I wish I could just make it better because at times it can be a big ole mess and many are hurt, not just for a short time but for many many years. Because of my experience in the Cereal Row I will have a very special place in my heart for kids who go to different houses Every Other Weekend.

6A Families

While we travel through this life we are surrounded by so many people. People who are family, you can't choose your family, friends that enter your life through school, church, other friends, work and then their are seasons of life that take you to a place you never understand why. We have met, talked with, cried with, rejoiced with so many wonderful families during Katherine's journey. A journey that began on the 6A Floor of Vanderbilt here in Nashville.

Some I got to know just as true family, some I may have just waved at, smiled with and cried when I was told of their struggles. Others Kaye and I received the gift of love through, and cried when they were no longer with us here on this earth.

I can't even remember when I met Renee Garcia but Kennedy is a site we love to see. Katherine has kept up with so many beautiful children, large, small, young and older. As I check my email to see how to pray I went back to Renee's personal blog and noticed an area I guess I just did not see before, she has a list of all the kids she and Kennedy "look after" and also listed are the Angels who are now in heaven. As I read all the names of the Angels my heart broke because we have met so many of these angels, their sweetness entered our lives either on 6A, 6B or the clinic. I am thankful Renee keeps them on her blog because they in their on special way have helped us during our travel of this journey. Even our sweet Rachel who we loved getting to know and even a shopping day was on the calendar for her and Katherine.

God truly uses every person in our lives, every single one of them. I sure hope each of you always take the time to do what God whispers in your ear. That person just might need you right at that moment. Perhaps to stand in a hallway trying to understand what the doctors have said. In the late nights when you just can't find sleep. When you get good news and are afraid it won't last. When you stand for more than an hour in the kitchen area on 6A or 6B trying to fix some comfort food which for me was chicken noodle soup with potatoe chips and you end up sitting in the floor with the cup and talking with another mother so you won't wake the sleeping child in their room because they had been up for days throwing up or hurting and when you just need a hug through words.

The families on 6A & 6B then and now are special and have a special bond as they are working to walk through a battleground. I pray we all will find the peace that God's love, grace and healing will show.